Thursday, December 15, 2005

Making sense out of my Mind.




My previous post was perhaps a bit too poetic and a little philosophical as well. As I browse, through the history of thoughts, which were cached, in my mind, I really, understood, that the only reason, I could have written in such a fashion, would have been my dissatisfaction with life and the excitement it offers.
At times, I understand, that it is more about our attitude and outlook at life.
Am I thinking too much about life..?
Am I getting worried and cooked up unnecessarily..?
No!, says my friend, He tells me that it is normal at this age to think a lot about life and contemplate our existence, when it becomes too event-less.
When, in our childhood, we had nothing on our mind, other than Homework, sweets, games, cartoons, parents and friends, Life was so much easier. But, at this age of 23, when life hasn`t yet started fully, I sometimes tend to get bored up with life. Is this normal as well.. I wonder..??!!!
Once, while, I was studying, in my XII standard in school, I wrote in my Moral Science Paper...
" .. I don`t like adolescence, Childhood Memories still haunt me....", to which my benevolent teacher replied on the answer paper ".. This is a difficult phase. I`m sure you will get over it.."
7 years have passed, but Alas!, I haven`t progressed much I guess.
I am prone to mood swings and in the time span of 2 days, which I have spent writing this, I feel better now. I have realized that there are worser problems, human beings like me could face. I do not want to equate pleasure with pain. Rather, I understand that these things are temporary and are never here to stay.
For, that poor visitor, who just chanced upon my blog, I would like to tell you this, It is just a young man, trying to make sense out of the turbulence in his mind, and I am not a lunatic.

I hate being a sadist, but the truth, is that there are worser issues in this strange world, and I feel like a sissy, crying over the most silliest things, which are just a matter of the mind, when nothing is being done about the truth all around, which is much more grave!!!.
At times, it is more courageous to face the bare truth, than to turn back and look at the fairer side, pretending not to know, that darker things happen in this world. At the same time however, it makes a lot of sense to just keep looking at the fairer side, so that eventually, the darker elements of life, start getting eager to reach out and be happy themselves.
Sorrow is also beautiful. In sorrow and suffering, we admire life and wonder about life in a more earnest manner. Without the suffering, without the pain, we would not have realized the beauty of a child`s innocent smile, we would not have realized the value of comfort.
If not for the sweltering sun, we would never yearn for the shade of a tree
If not for the pouring rain and cold, we would never yearn for the warmth of a blanket.
Yet, Life has not yet really been a good teacher of love. Or should I say, the world has not been a really good place to learn the value of love and passion for affection. Nothing can be learnt without putting in some hard work, and as for love, life and virtue and the small timespan of one lifetime, we shall need to work like dogs to find true knowledge.
Let us live, let us learn and maybe then I won`t feel so depressed.
Meanwhile, there`s always, this blog, where I can make some sense of my mind.